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The Hawk

While on set, I stay at a house in Chappaqua with the Production Design department. These guys are awesome, and, as far as digs go, we’ve got it pretty good. We’re staying in a beautiful house lent to the production by a very cool Chappaqua family. It’s a grand old house surrounded by lush green wilderness, and it is unique and truly beautiful.

Unfortunately, it also has The Hawk.

The Hawk lives somewhere in the trees outside the house, and it does not like us. Or, more likely, it fears us. Whatever. It amounts to the same thing.

So far The Hawk has attacked two people in the driveway, and nearly missed a third. No one’s been really seriously injured, but one person was scratched up and bloodied, and another knocked on his ass.

As you might imagine, The Hawk has been a major topic of discussion in the art department house.

 

Meeting about The Hawk

So far we’ve taken a look at a number of different courses of action and I took the liberty of jotting down some pros and cons.

Option 1: Kill The Hawk

Pros:

  • The Hawk would stop attacking people.

Cons:

  • It would be cruel and probably illegal.
  • Bad karma for a movie about birding.
  • We have no idea how to kill a hawk.

Option 2: Capture The Hawk

Pros:

  • The Hawk would stop attacking people.
  • We wouldn’t have to kill anything.
  • Then we would have a hawk.

Cons:

  • It would be cruel and probably illegal.
  • Bad karma for a movie about birding.
  • We wouldn’t know what to do with The Hawk after capturing it.
  • We have no idea how to capture a hawk.

Option 3: Capture The Hawk and train it to only attack our Enemies.

Pros:

  • The Hawk would stop attacking us.
  • We wouldn’t have to kill anything.
  • We would have an ally at the top of its food chain.
  • No one would mess with us

Cons:

  • It would be cruel and definitely illegal.
  • Bad karma for a movie about birding.
  • We have no idea how to capture a hawk.
  • We have no idea how to train a hawk.
  • We have no enemies.

Option 4: Do nothing and try to learn more.

Pros:

  • Low effort.
  • Information is usually a good thing.
  •  We don’t really have any other options.

Cons:

  • The Hawk would probably keep attacking us.

Basically we were stumped. Then one day Brian came in with pictures of The Hawk. Turns out there’s more than one.

The Hawks

…to be continued.


by ameeryoussef